The Art of Feedback: Nurturing Growth Through Continuous Conversations
Feedback is a powerful tool and essential of leadership, yet it's often misunderstood, misused or underutilized. When I teach classes on Feedback, the first question I usually ask is: “What does this word evoke for you?”. The answers are usually a combination of fear, dread, anxiety and “I feel like I’m being sent to the Principal’s office”. And that’s because we typically do it wrong. We have all experienced feedback being used as an excuse to demean, scold and chastise. It gets wielded like a broadsword to impose another’s ideas on us. tEven when well intended, it’s often ineffectual and at worst damaging. Part of that is because we are quick to make assumptions about the behavior or decision that’s being addressed. And because of this feedback is trotted out once a year, because we think we’re being “kind” but not wielding our sword more than that. Here’s the truth: Feeback is not a once-a-year event during performance reviews or a routine part of weekly check-ins; feedback is the primary tool a leader has to support and develop the individuals and to shape the deliverables and culture on the team.
Feedback is a continuous conversation.
First and foremost, feedback is a two-way street. It's not about delivering a monologue or dumping information on someone; it's about engaging in meaningful dialogue. And dialogue not only requires two people to engage, it requires some forms of asking questions and sharing observations or opinions. And every interaction, serves as a form of feedback, whether implicit or explicit. The questions we ask, our reactions, even our facial expressions convey valuable information and can be interpreted as our reaction and feedback to the point at hand.
On the receiving end, being atuned to these subtle cues allows us to gather feedback on a regular basis. It's about active listening and genuine curiosity, asking clarifying questions like "What do you mean by that?" or "Can you expand on that idea?" increase the feedback we’re receiving and provide us with more opportunity to learn and grow. It also builds trust, showing the other person we’re open to their ideas and engaging with them. Observations such as "You seem to have another thought or question" can also prompt those deeper conversations which are essential to stronger relationships and, ultimately, make it easier to provide feedback.
Even when feedback is explicitly given, it shouldn’t be reserved for commentary about the deliverables or execution. It's most impactful when given in the moment, addressing behaviors that reinforce or challenge the team's culture. For instance, if someone demonstrates inclusive behavior in a meeting by actively listening and valuing diverse perspectives, that should be praised and reinforced. On the flip side, behaviors like interrupting others, shutting down ideas, or failing to speak up should be addressed promptly to maintain a healthy and inclusive team dynamic. Feedback should be given in the moment lest cultural norms and values be perceived as irrelevant.
Many people will say “Negative feedback should be given privately” however when it comes to your teams’ culture, the whole team needs to hear and see that culture reinforced. Private feedback misses the chance to model for the whole team and risks that there rest of the team interpret the values as irrelevant. The more trust you have on your team, the easier it gets to deliver feedback in the moment.
Crucially, effective feedback focuses on the behavior or issue at hand, not on the person. It's about addressing actions and decisions rather than making it a personal critique. Emphasizing that feedback is about solving problems together, not creating conflict between individuals, fosters a culture of trust and collaboration.
At our consultancy, we encourage leaders to approach feedback with empathy, curiosity, and a growth mindset. It's about building a culture where feedback is normalized and viewed as a catalyst for learning and improvement, rather than a source of criticism or judgment.
Feedback is a continuous conversation that drives growth, fosters inclusivity, and strengthens team dynamics. By embracing feedback as a tool for cultural reinforcement, addressing behaviors, and promoting collaboration, leaders can create a thriving environment where individuals feel valued, heard, and empowered to contribute their best.
How do you approach feedback in your leadership style? Share your experiences, strategies, and insights in the comments below. Let's continue the conversation on nurturing growth and fostering effective feedback cultures.